My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
