Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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