I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
