i don't like sucking hair
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.