I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.