Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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