drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
