my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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