White coat. Heels.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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