hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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