New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
