and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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