How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
