i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
