So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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