What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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