She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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