How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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