I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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