We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize