I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
