don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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