whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I touched a dick in church today
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
