i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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