I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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