How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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