She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
