Are we in a gay sports bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i dont even know how to be here
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
