East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
