sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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