I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
