Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
