last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
