Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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