Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
