How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wear drunk well.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
