Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
