I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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