Christians are straight up FREAKS
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
