sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
