Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
