if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it penis luge time yet?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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