It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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