Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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