onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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