i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
