elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
