As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
