Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
