You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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