oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize