Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize