Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize