we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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