I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
