Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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