Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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