He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
