Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
